It just is. It's all about feeling around until you can find that win win perspective. There is no failure in Divine Mind.
I had applied for the Flower Festival in Summerville. Initially they told me they had slots available last minute. So I filled out the typical vender app. It was more expensive than I had ever paid for a booth, so I was nervous, and even more so, because the event was rain or shine no refund...and it had been raining for days.
So, like everything that my mind wrestles between :wanting to happen desperately and terrified it is going to happen; I gave it to God.
God, it's yours. I've come to trust in a loving God. Or, sometimes when I am feeling jaded by religious zealots, I call it a friendly universe. I used to think God and the Universe was out to get me, or to punish me. It seemed like around every corner was some surprise that was not very friendly, in fact it could be outright terrifying.
After going through a very very dark night of the soul, swallowed in addictions of many kinds, I was shown that I am not being punished and in fact, the universe is very very friendly.
For me it was a combination of Byron Katie's "the Work" and Alcoholics Anonymous that gave me the tools to truly believe in the good things coming.
It was a deep and gruelling process because first I had to explore this thing called "rigorous honesty". Then I had to be vulnerable with another human about all these things that were hidden in my psyche that I had experienced and was terribly ashamed of. After releasing it to a human that could handle "my stuff" because they had been thru it themselves or something similar; I began to learn how to give things to a friendly loving universe to sort out. I learned that everytime I had attempted to handle things on my own and control the entire cosmos, it became pretty much an epic fail. I couldn't see what God sees.
So little by little I began practicing giving everything to this Power of Good.
I gave small things to this power, and over time, as I came to believe that it actually worked, I gave bigger and bigger conflicts in my head to this Power of Good.
I was shown that I could trust that everything is always working out in my favour. I can't know why or how, but I can trust that the infinite intelligence of the universe that can make little tiny seeds into big wild trees that make apples, could probably handle whatever I gave it.
Well, I gave the Summerville Flower Festival to God. God if it's your Will that I serve you in Summerville, let it happen, and if not, shut it down.
Boom, I get an email that the jury committee just couldn't review any more applications and they wouldn't charge me $70 or the $350 booth fee.
I felt a huge relief in my heart. That relief showed me it was God. I continued to remind myself, " I can't know why but this is good, and something wayyyy better is in store for me. Thank you God!!
It began raining more as the days moved on and I thought about how stressful it would have been. My work can't withstand the rain to well and I could have potentially lost the over $400 and earned nothing if I needed to forfeit for rain.
Then I saw an advertisement for the South Eastern Punk Flea Market. It was described as an underground art venue. My heart beat a bit quicker and I checked out the vendor info. Boom; spaces open and 1/3 the cost....and INDOORS.
The connections I made, the hearts I held close, The love that was shared, and the sales that were made; it was the best event I have been a part of so far, until the next event that God leads me to...because as I am learning to walk in the Will of A Loving Friendly Universe, and I trust the infinite intelligence of a loving God...It is ALWAYS "Win Win" it just is.
How do you handle decisions in your life? Have you felt the magic of giving tough things to a loving God or a Friendly Universe? I love hearing from you, please feel free to comment here or email me any time.