Just Show Up

Updated: Jul 25, 2021

It may be the most difficult part of the creative process, to show up and do that thing we were going to do.

When I began to consciously develop the concept for my own healing, of painting by Spirit, was when I began to realise I could fully give my creative process to a higher energy, a higher power, God or the Great Spirit of Good. (As far as I am concerned, you can call that energy of pure loving goodness > anything that feels right to you.)

I had incredible fear of what the outcome of my paintings would be. I was insecure of what others thought of my paintings, and my inner critic was loudly telling me I was irresponsible to spend my time painting and kidding myself that I thought I was any good.

Some days, deep in my depression my mind would angrily warn me against painting or just simply say, "You Can't".

At the time, I was immersed in reprogramming my thinking. I was newly sober and going to AA and became aware that I could give my addiction to this higher power they kept speaking about. So I would try it when cravings would swallow me whole, 'Please take these cravings' and I would instantly have a reprieve. It felt like some kind of crazy magic, so I kept persisting until I truly realised there was some kind of an energy that was helping me. If you have ever been addicted to anything, you know there is no way anything, other than the drug you are craving, that can stop those cravings>>>and certainly not some words given to some higher power.

But it kept working.

So I became convinced it was something I could tap into.

I started tapping in ALL the time.

My timeline is a bit fuzzy about how or when it came about, but there came a day that I began asking Spirit to take my painting.

I always knew there was this mystical thing that happened when I would watch the paint drip and see what images emerged and colour them in. I knew it was spiritual and I was tapping into some ethereal realm.

When the stories would arise, I would gain so much insight and feel so free, I couldn't deny how much the process was helping me.

I began to be interested in improving my skills. I felt I had so much more to say and my love of the process kept me desiring to learn more.

Art classes or school weren't an option for me.

I've realised over time, it is the LOVE of doing something that is the 'gift' or 'talent'. It is not the skill. A talent is natural aptitude , and an aptitude; is a tendency to do something. So a talent is a natural tendency to do something. The skill comes after years of following your heart and doing this thing you love to do. So whatever it is you love to do, do that.

As my interest in improving my skills became greater, and I realised I was limited in my knowledge of how to get those skills, I began to ask Spirit to paint through me.

I would light some sage or incense and candles, and meditate for a few moments before I began to paint. I would invite Spirit to paint through me.

Then, as I would paint, I would just be normal me, painting.

Ideas would come to me and I would follow what felt fun. In the moments I would feel insecure or unsure or fearful of painting something, I would briefly say in my mind, "Spirit, you do this."

I would have a ragged old paintbrush, dip it in paint and say, "Spirit, paint an eye here"

Miraculously, my paint brush, although ragged and frayed, would perfectly paint an eye!

I was spooked and high from the experience, all at once, every time it happened.

It changed everything for me, and my 'skills' catapulted into levels I never thought I would be able to paint.

I came to realise it is none of my business what an image appears as after it is painted. My business is to show up and let the Great Spirit move through me.

I carry this into everything I do, every day, all day long.

Let me know what your process is. Have you ever experienced anything like this?

I love hearing from you. Please feel free to answer in the comments below or email/chat with me here.

Love, Gracie

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